‘ “I am trying to cultivate a life style that does not require my presence.”
I was going through a bunch of old notes last week and came across this formula for “Authentic Presence”. I don’t know where I initially discovered it – so my apologies to its author for the missing attribution.
Increasingly, I find that one important question I can ask leaders I work with is – how present are you in your communication with others? While listening is critical – staying present in the moment carries the weight of what you are trying to communicate.
Their answers are often surprising. Often there is little understanding of what being fully present means.
Is asking the right questions enough, they ask? Others don’t want to seem overly emotional. Some don’t feel comfortable with the “intimacy.” And yes, there are some that confide that they just don’t care enough – or feel they just want people to do “what they are expected to do”.
The roots of this kind of communication stem from the still-pervasive but very old command and control mindset. I’ve told them what to do. People are paid to do a job. Why should they be coddled? Continue reading