Are You Ignoring or Using the Power of Your Values?

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Autonomy. Dependability. Honesty. Freedom. Integrity. Privacy. Respect. Fun. Creativity. Affiliation. Service. Collaboration.

All of the above are values – these and many more can shape what we do in life and how we do it.

We all have values. They represent what is important to us. Values are powerful because they supply our work (and everything else in our lives) with meaning.  They govern our behavior and guide our choices. Values are powerful motivators.  They determine the decisions you make in your life. You’re either moving toward things that satisfy your values, or moving away from things that contradict your values.

Values are contextually driven.  For example, I might value autonomy in my choice of job but intimacy when it comes to forming non-work relationships. While context changes some values –  some we often call “core,” may be important to us in every situation, like trust, authenticity and respect. Continue reading

Habits: Motivation Gets You Moving: Habit Gets You Where You Want to Go

habits

Habit formation is like acting on automatic pilot. It is so woven into the fabric of our behavior we don’t even stop to think that we’re on automatic pilot. We just keep on doing. Continue reading

Making Changes: Closing the Gap Between Intention and Action



How many times have we said to ourselves, with the deepest intentions, “This part of my behavior has to stop, it’s just not working for me?”

And then we resort back to old behavior – still holding the best of intentions.

Why is it so easy to be our own worst enemy, especially in the arena of making personal change?

What can we do to eliminate the gap between intention and action? What stops us from aligning our beliefs and motivations so that they produce the changes we want to feel and see in our lives?

Resistance to change is powerful. In one study of heart patients, told they would likely die without making lifestyle changes, only one in seven followed the medical recommendations. I’m sure that the six who didn’t change truly want to live.  Change is a decision-making process involving different regions of the brain that become integrated, resulting in behavior and actions. However, too often it’s just a decision to change, not the actual behavioral change we want.

When we want to make a change in our lives, it usually starts with an intention that can be either an articulated expression of some desire or a privately held thought. For example, I might say that I want to lose weight or, think that I want to work on changing the nature of my relationship with a colleague at work..but the weight stays on and the relationship doesn’t change.

What stops me? Why is there such a  gap between intention and action? Continue reading

Minding The Mind

Do you think the brain and mind is the same thing? Does it even matter to talk about distinctions between the two?

It’s about how we can go about making changes in our lives, especially if we want to have more control over our internal narrative, our self-talk and ultimately, behavior.

Late 20th century brain researchers viewed the brain in strict, functional, neuronal terms as an information processor that operated without reference to content and context.  The mind, when viewed from this Newtonian mechanistic model of the world, is determined by brain activity.

Things changed in the 21st century.

Technological advances, interdisciplinary discoveries and a systemic approach led the way to a new perspective about the mind and brain. Key among these discoveries is the notion that the brain is capable of neuroplasticity – capable of changing as a result of experience.  From the moment we’re born until we die the brain is capable of creating new neural circuitry.

Another major contribution to the shift in thinking about brain and mind is the idea that the brain is a social organ. It connects with other brains via neural circuitry in our body that is hard-wired to take in other’s signals. In other words, “we think outside our own individual brain.”

As neuroscientist Leslie Brothers describes it, “our neural machinery doesn’t produce mind; it enables participation.”   While the brain is structurally 100 billion neurons, each connecting to 5,000 to 10,000 others and their complex patterns of firing – the mind as Daniel Siegel describes it is the “flow of energy and information.”  Continue reading